It’s been a rough couple of years. We’ve all been dealing with disappointment. You, me, basically everyone but the billionaires. Every single project has been harder to accomplish. Our plans are impossible to enact. Our hopes have been dashed, defeated and destroyed. Just me? Nah… I know you feel it too.
Let’s face it, we’ve been facing rejection and failure more than ever before.
Why is it so hard to keep creating?
For creative people, it can be especially hard to get back to work after so many tough blows. The act of creating seems to require at least a whiff of optimism. A micro-dose if you will.
There are loads of reasons we creatives take it harder than most. Artists are sensitive types, and making art demands that vulnerability. You put yourself out there, you bare your soul, and then, so often, you face rejection or failure or worst of all silence.
Another reason our disappointment seems deeper, more existential even, are the stakes. Filmmaking is a huge investment of time, money and energy. Every movie (long or short) can take years to go from idea to screen, countless dollars, and every last ounce of our creative energy. When these projects fail it’s a massive loss. It really can feel like falling off a cliff.
Is it any wonder then, that we’re slow to recover? Who feels like opening a blank document when you’ve just lost 3 years, half a million dollars and your will to live?
What to do when All Is Lost
The experts say to VALIDATE the feelings. It sounds like pop-psychology BS, but… it really is helpful.
You probably have a ritual for this kind of moment. Much like after a tough breakup, you might reach for the Häagen-Dazs, the PS4 or, in my case, the tequila. Go for it! I’m not here to harsh your vibes, man. Distraction is a valuable tool in the get-over-it tool kit. But I do think taking a moment to sit with and acknowledge the bummer is the best first step in the process.
Why? Because otherwise you can fall into a spiral of sadness, and then guilt, shame and anger about feeling the sadness that can drag on for months, even years. This happens because you’re avoiding the disappointment, and secretly telling yourself you shouldn’t feel that way. But feelings have a.way of sticking around, especially when you try to dodge them.
So, maybe block off an hour. Cry. Look the loss in its stupid rat face. Think about what you hoped for, dreamt of, and even expected. Ruminate on how it went wrong. And tell yourself, yep this sucks, I have a right to feel shitty.
Then video games. Ice cream. Booze.
When Disappointment Persists
Most times, if you follow my foolproof Cry, Then Indulge method the yucky feeling will wane. But sometimes, particularly if this is the last in a long line of disappointments, they will persist.
This sucks because now you have to Decide. Are you so disappointed that you can’t go on? I’m not asking in that slanted bullying rhetorical way. Truly. Are you done? It’s okay if you are.
It helps at this point to think about a few things. What are you in this for? Why do you do it?
If your answers are Money, or Fame or the Validation you desperate needed but never received from your parents. I urge you to consider the statistical odds of getting rich, famous or mentally well, writing movies. I won’t belabour the point but you can start here:
SCRIPT MAG – WHAT ARE YOUR REAL CHANCES OF SUCCESS?
If your answers are more akin to “I’m compelled to tell these stories, where would I put them if I couldn’t write” or “Writing brings me tiny fleeting bursts of joy, even when no one is looking” well I think you’re doomed, my friend. There will be satisfaction and there will be disappointment. You are a writer.
Write. Cry. Drink. Repeat.